holy stream floats my palace. 神泉扶明宫。
a determined mind.
under God's shine after i broke heart for a girl collegian, devoted to reclaim my vested kingdom of China from my ancestor with glory.
dreamt of Tibet alumnus, Benba Chungdak. ^dreamt first we making a living as street vendor. then Benba Chungdak quit. soon we found we have to make a living from scratch again, for our family, or our parents unable to support us. we first each vend on street. Benba Chungdak with his art college classmate, Li Moufeng, etc, grouped to sing opera in non-traditional way. in such a hard life in dream, I counted on Benba so much and prayed for better life for us. one of our relatives visited us but didn't help. finally Benba Chungdak and his alumni invented singing and lives a life by performance. When I wake up I tried to blog it. then I reviewed how I dependent in dream on him, esp in hard living. its almost 20 years passed since I last contacted him who waiting graduate in Tianjin art college while I just worked in QRRS, a SOE. May's deficit passed tearfully after my eldest brother's only daughter loaned us ￥1000. yesterday QRRS dispatched a bonus, including ￥300 to me. God, since the rain season I relaxed in ur bliss. these nights I watched English drama, "The white Queen", which brings so many meanings and visions, let me see how sin equals to death, and its trap the lifeless struggle. merit lives upright and timeless, while abnormal emotion/mind lapses like shadow. I see history self-reveals and doesn't explain. I saw glory and grace untouchable. I saw throne in my title as prescribed. God, long wave of historical acting roles is so clear and delusive for a usual human life, I beg ur mercy and forgive. God, dad, lead my Royal China through 1109 years' China Empire coming wholly and pure. bring my girls and children beautiful and mighty. thx, dad, God.