holy stream floats my palace. 神泉扶明宫。
a determined mind.
under God's shine after i broke heart for a girl collegian, devoted to reclaim my vested kingdom of China from my ancestor with glory.
dreamed of a smart bureaucrat. ^this weekend with son resumed progress among our old games, including "borderlands 2", which let me happy. son, warrenzh, got his first bath towel after I felt my itching lower legs possible infectious. last dusk I bought him a bottle haws juice for I myself thirsty after napped in sunshine on canteen bed. He tried some but mostly swallowed by me with his permission. a lengthy dream in dawn in which I assured a bureaucrat to support me. the man married with a girl from Zhudajiu, my passed dad's hometown village where all inhabitants are offspring of same ancestor, Zhudajiu, and a girl of my passed eldest sister's friend. he worked as educational administrator. he managed to arrange me and his nephew studied in a junior middle school near his house and treated us in weekends on way we passing his village and returning to Zhudajiu. the meal usually rich than my family could offer. my eldest sister committed suicide during the period when I studied in the school, where for its near my sister's family, I sometimes visited my sister to enjoy my sister's husband's factory canteen's delicious food and even asked for money. one time my eldest sister refuted me, I hided in the house of my only classmate from the village and cried miserably when my sister fetched me and telling villagers around why she refuted me. I finally got money from my sister and that time clearly aroused my son-alike love with my sister, soon before she jumped into Yangtze River in dawn after dispute with her husband and never returned. the bureaucrat later moved to Wuxue, the county capital, and transit his business into a company under his control. when I first time trapped by asylum for unbearable losing love with a tall girl collegian, my sinful 2nd elder brother, who cheated me to sent me into the poor hospital, led me to visit the man for help find a job after I finished therapy. once visited the man in his office, where his akin nephew just graduated also there asked to be jobbed. second my 2nd elder brother brought me visit his house in a hot summer noon while he just showered at home. the man denied us twice. in this dawn dream he entertained himself in Zhudajiu in crowd in the foremost front house, of a family whose father a worker class in town. I persuade him vote for me or loan me earnestly. he finally retreated to inner house for dinner or what, left me alone. I felt the man smarter than usual people under sinful PRC in its recent hard history. I likely failed to won over persons in cozy niches in current delusive social buildup but I worked hard and earnestly. God, challenges thick ahead, results previous and predetermined, like Gospels. God, save me from trifle, cover me from meaningless. Dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to complement my growing life so far in spectacular. God, I love love in commitment and offspring in sanity, God, dad, promise me like sunshine outside.